As part of my last weekend workshop where we discussed about connections and then on few aspects on gratification etc. This is a major thing we have seen in today’s society like where the hooks ups and break ups happens like in like a day, week, month and then the pattern continues.
Did people really realized why the pattern continues?? Well let me explain it to you. So, the usual trend is this a guy met a girl and they get attracted to each other and feel good about the lovey dovey time they having and think it to be love without actually knowing the true meaning of love. True love is conditional its unlike with t&c applied at the end.Then as days, month passes we tend to get bored, or see the true colors of the person probably we need attention of an individual but may be they forgot to do the things which they use to do before during initial days and then issues happens, anger, sadness etc comes in and more time on arguments happens then the individuals start looking for something else out of the relation sometime they find some qualities good in others and they fell for this individual and then after a while get bored and again look for something else.
Their is a saying if you loved someone truly then you wont fall for the second.
Modern days things are like a friend is there and its natural for any human being when they are emotionally down or hurt they tend to look forward for the voidness to be filled which has left them feel lost or empty.So the friend suddenly becomes a “Masiha” and give shoulder to the girl and the girl actually starts seeing good in that friend and out of support they fall for each other and then a new story of rebound happens.
Why rebounds never work is its natural when opposite sex meets there will be attraction in form of emotion, physical its the law of nature but what holds important is your own self control the reason is this rebound is tend to be broken considering the short lived moments. Just to fill a persons space you cnt get and rush to another relationship and showcase you have moved on . If you doing so you fooling yourself in all manners and lying to self. your ex isnt affected probably if he/she is not in any relationship and rather focusing on important aspects like there career and other goals.
Life is precious dont waste in short time fun or moments because at the end you will be the one who will be hurt again and when you are repetitively hurt you tend to hold resentments, guilt etc and at the end you will feel so gloomy and upset you start the cycle of self pity and feel you good for nothing. But truth is you can avoid this only when you have a strong will power and a willingness to love your own company and time with self then looking out for something else.Take your own time to heal yourself, spend time with your friends then useless flirtations or talks with random unknown people via tinder, snapchat or fb.
When you feel that you have healed yourself from the relationship completely and you know what exactly you need in you life to move ahead then take the decision when you ready. This rushing thing doesn’t help out trust me.
I would like to quote one example of my friend, well indeed my closest buddy so let me name him as Pranav.I believe its been like 14 years since i know pranav and i have almost known all this hooks up and break up stories and how he met someone random and then just to ease his ego and to showcase to the people that he has moved on he got in with another. Be meeting girls in pub, or finding someone via some app i really dnt know how many he dated probably the count is around 9 of the official numbers i know forget the other one:P. So this was during one of my sessions where he was so frustrated and he was into the addicted of drinks and to an extend to drugs and multiple sexual partners change and at the end he went to rehab for like 3 months to get out of it. We both had a very long conversation post his return and then we had a very open discussion and thats when i said him where the core issue is the issue wasn’t about him wanting love i agree we all need love and care but in order to get that you cant let yourself be a public property. I agree you live life once and you should and must enjoy things but never forget you the one who makes your lofe and getting yourself in an ugly cycle of guilts, self hatred, resentments wont take you too far.
Love yourself know your self worth its ok if a relationship dint work out it doesn’t mean thats the end of life and you rush to other,every person is unique and different you cnt find the same person in every other person. Be like a drug in life so people try to get you not like a cigarette that people use you and throw you.Take time out work on the things which probably didn’t let you to have the happy ending to the relationship you wanted to see, analyse see if things can be worked out if not its fine but take your own time to focus on yourself and on your own growth curve then rushing to something which is baseless. Analyse the mistakes you did accept it and ensure you wont repeat it in life take it as an experience and wait for the one who is worth you and who deserves your part of love. Embrace each day, each moment there are lots of things to look forward for a bright day then shedding tears for someone who isnt worth your time and efforts. make yourself so fit and dynamic that next time you see yourself in the mirror you just say wow i love myself alot and trust me the next time you fall in love you know you with the right one who truly deserves you.
Mantra: Self Love and self acceptance is the solution for all problem in life 😀