Expressions i wasnt sure what heading to give for this i actually want to talk about the impact of effective communciation today.
While morning i was scrolling my fb i read too many post about this champaign of #Me too by many friends of mine which includes my professors and also few who have mentioned i dnt want my daughter to face the same. The power of social media is so strong i must say bringing in ripple across set of people which includes even the introverts. Well it reminds me of my childhood, i was a very timid average performing student till my 5th standard when i use to be very hesitant to speak up for my own always afraid when my name been called for viva or to read a chapter in front of class. I use to shiver i had very close knit of friends like just 3-4. There was this guy shashank my first best friend in 2nd standard who was completely opposite of me the one who taught me how to play chess in 2nd standard. He was an amazing painter i still remember we use to sit together, play cricket,trump cards together. He was good in studies and sports and once he gifted me a painting of a bus which had his signature and mine at bottom. I wore that yellow flowery frock on his bday and we sat togther and how he use to push me to participate in sports.
I tried finding him since last 12 yrs via orkut, fb everwere but i couldnt find him till date as he has a very common name i messaged to like some 80+ guys with same name asking if they are shanky and there brother name is honey i checked in my internal directory of my dad’s company every time i meet a fellow ongcian i will ask if they know shashank. I tried the maximum i could to find my that one best friend whom i missed alot in these years.I wish someday you come across my blog and recall i know fairy tale :p.
Eventually post he left school i started feeling aloof i missed my this friend in cricket ground,cyclingground, helipad and in my bench i use to recall how he use to push me to mingle with people and to speak out and keep all my fears and insecurities and not to be afraid to what i feel. I dint realize what he meant at that time, but then when i grew up i learnt what he meant.
Gratitude to you shanky, wherever you man, every minute moments details about you is so close to my heart which i can never express in mere words.
So, i want to write here is this why do i see people becoming more vocal only in social media or in text messages why cnt they implement the same in there real life and with real people.
I have friends who have dated few when they met someone online and when they meet they realized the person is very different from what they found while texting. So my question remains same why people are not straight forward, why people hide there emotions and act to be supercool and showcase themselves to be someone else when in reality they different why cnt people be vocal about there own emotions and feelings.
People share posts of seeing help old people dnt send them to old age homes etc but in reality they dont treat their own parents well.
Why you share and trying to showcase to the world something which you are no. Same is the instant about sexual assault, i understand and i really sympathise with what each one of you have gone through but do you relaly need such a post to showcase what you went through why couldnt you speak up or revolted when thing was going wrong. Why do you have to use a social media what have you done to let this thing not happen with you.
Every girl go through this i also have gone through this yes i was a minor that time when i wasnot knowing what was going and i didnt revolt out of fear about society family and various judgments.
I didnt share the episode with anybody kept it within myself and at the end i realised the impact that one particular incident got in my life. While i was growing up i realised that fear which had struck me during childhood had got a huge impact in my subconcious mind so deeply that i was afraid with any human particularly a male touch. Be a friend or even my crush everytime someone try to come close i will get a cold feet. We girls from childhood are been taught to keep our sanity and to bear things that we can. I was not less brought up in same way with my principles and ideology and i avoided any kind of discussion on that particular incident ever with anybody.
When i shifted to hostel thats when we girls started sharing our things and each of us shared and i got to know we all faced same it was not just me and for which i would kept cursing me.
Yes i did mistake of not raising my voice at that time nor sharing with my parents had i done that things would have been better for me i would have felt much lighter rather self grief i would have been free from such burden.It was in recent times when i got a call at home stating about that particular person who did that act of cowardliness during my childhood is gonna visit my home for some work he had in my city i was petrified completely, i lost my mind i went inside bathroom cried alot. I really dnt know how i face him the flashback was coming in mind because i didn’t share this with my parents ever. This time i said to myself like no matter what happen let the relationship among our families spoil i need to speak up until i do that i cnt get over this trauma which i had been keeping inside me since last 20yrs.
I washed my face went to my mom said to her i need to speak to you about something. It really took me loads of courage to prepare myself on how i am going to tell her this irrespective of the consequences. As i dnt want to see that person face again in my life as it ruined my adolescence when people thought i am abnormal but little they know what i have gone through. I am sure many of the girls have faced this and there are still few who are facing.I urge every single girl to come and be vocal about it discuss it with your family or friends take out your issues so you feel you didn’t do any crime you were just a victim of someone pervert-ism. A coward who doesn’t have guts.
As i told to my mom we both cried and then she took stand for me she ensured to cut off all ties with that family and she did i felt so relived about this thing that it got so uch of confidence in me that i felt i was never wrong.
That confidence probably got me to write this in my blog, i urge my younger sis and evern my niece if they ever face any physical contact by someone irrespective of a random or a relative oppose then and there, learn self defence techniques and hit on that cowards balls so never in life he can try to do that ever to any girl who is yet to know what is her sexuality.
These things can only happen when each of us do a effective communication with our peers, friends, parents and rather thinking in mind we will be judged.. Communication solves so many problems in our life if you have something which is bothering you speak up share you feel so lighter then keeping to yourself and getting depressed. I recall a friend of mine who underwent depression to a series of physical assault done by her boyfriend and how traumatize she was that she ran away from that city post her engagement lived a life in exile. We both had amazing interaction when we met during one of our healing sessions and at the end of the last day workshop i see her going to stage crying her heart out and speaking of the entire things because of which she lost faith in humanity and started seeing people with doubting eyes.
Bravo my girl!!! you came a long way from where i saw u 5 years back and today she is just rocking in her life back to the city of dreams and whenever we speak we just laugh and laugh for hours.
Speak up whatever is in your mind you will feel relieved and calm and at a better stage of mind. You can pen down in a diary or share with you friend but my dear ladies you are much stronger emotionally and physically then man trust me no man can bear the pain which we go through every month they cnt bear the emotional turmoil, mood swings we can , they dont have patience to console or to bear things for long but god has made us so unique which we only can. Be bearing a kid for 9 long months and post pain and bleeding experience.
So the mantra for the day speak up your hearties yoho :D:D:D