Tick Tock Number 30

Since childhood i had a phobia from numbers although i am very good in remembering dates, but algebra and trigonometry always had been a pain.

Be maths paper in school or my chemistry numericals in college and accounts in MBA. I never got sleep before these exams thanks to my phobia. Post passing all with flying colours, but the new phobia I have got is touching the number 30 the age 30. I really didn’t bother much about this number 4-5 yrs back but as i am nearing it the stress tension is increasing and the more its increasing the more i am loosing my balance and cool leading me to be act desperate being pushy and being selfish at times.

 

The whole thing is that ki bhaiya “sabse bada rupaya” turned out now to be the whole thing is that ki bhaiya “30 is umar main shaadi kaun karega tumse”.
Phew this society, the people relatives all are behind you for everything the only time they appear will be on your result day to ask how much you scored or when you in your final year or engineering or MBA campus placement hua ki nahi or post that are you settled financially in career and when you do that then when is your wedding and post wedding when are babies coming.

Damn give me a break i am so sick and tired of this vicious circle which every individual has to go. Be you go for any social gathering people are there to ask you when is yours if you dress up well oh aap toh badi pyari lag rahi ho ab toh shaadi tumhari hi hai.

So i have a question here for all where were you people when i was lying on my hospital bed post my accident? Where were you people when i was struggling to get sleep before my maths exam? Where were you people when i was having a heart break? Where when at my worst you people were not there then how can you expect to be a part of the most important phase my marriage.
Ya you will come only to eat and then complaint the food was not good that erson didn’t greet me well.The DJ was playing only English songs no bollywood.

I am a human being like everyone i also have limited time on this planet called earth. I really want to live my life in my terms and conditions and make memories so much memories that when i become old i have stories to tell to my grand kids.

I literally invested close to 1 and half years and spend money on matrimonial sites as my parents wanted me to get married before i turn 30. i Tried i tried interacting with people there were guys with whom probably i wont even talk had they been my acquittance also, i ended up talking to them the weirdos who find a working girl to be ambitious and feels they cant run a family. Buddy you cant judge me basis my profession or my goals it says I am independent and i can take my decisions which are much wiser then yours. In spite being a spiritual person but with limited knowledge about religion also landed me to rejections.

What am I suppose to do loose myself in the process of getting married to someone just because my age is going. How do i make our society our parents understand that in this entire process the person who is loosing is me my own self. I get tensed every time the topic of my marriage comes and my over thinking mind works like a wild fire. I cnt focus on things i love to do which give me peace and happiness like travel, blogging, dance.

I went through too much of emotional turmoil over this and thus i decided to have a straight talk with my parents and i told my concern area. How this entire thing is creating a trauma for me. Finally i decided to live my life in my own terms now.
Marriage is not just an institution to start a family but there is an emotional, mental and physical bond which goes for a long run which again the two people have to sail together there will be difficult time there may be time of distance there may be time of difference of opinions etc. How will you manage it if u rush into things when from inside you know you not ready for it.
There are lot of changes which comes in so if you rush just because your age is running then i would say you you will regret on a long run.
Relax yourself a bit my dear ladies i know there is substantial amount of pressure from all sides and it become extreme difficult to hold on and ignore.
I have my friend circle where all are married i have my younger cousins who got married and have kids now. So i was also seeing them and getting tensed what in store for me and why its delaying.
Eventually i said to myself relax meditate and analyse yourself if you really want to get married or you really want to know someone better way and then proceed.
What are your life goals and how much you have accomplished and how much more you want to go do. Take some time analyse wont you be happy when you can go for things when you are matured and stable to take decisions in a rational way then rushing. Wont it give happiness when you buy stuffs for your own and financially independent then dependent on your parents. Wont you like to grow and improve your own skill sets be learning a new language or new hobby.

So, take a minute rather then rushing for things calm your self work on yourself and improve it take care of your health. Dance, sing go out clubbing do whatever makes you happy because these are your long term asset and a healthy mind will help you for a healthy body and peace and that will let you to be positive and keep your vibrational energy better and you will be motivating and positive and can spread happiness. You want to dance and take out the stress do that. You want to scream or blog do that do what makes you happy and you feel calm and composed about yourself.

So my lovely ladies touch your heart and dance to the rhythm of love and whoever is meant for you will eventually come and accept you the way you. Each of us are beautiful and unique souls. Its ok let the marriage be late your individuality matters your own happiness matter if you are not happy and doesn’t love yourself how will you love someone else. Happiness comes from within that can only when you focus on yourself your well being.

Never rush never chase or never be clingy if you are meant for someone they will come when the right time is there. Each of us have our own time frame zones everyone life is different with there own share of difficulties and happiness. So dnt worry if you not able to cope upto your society expectation make your own milestones and tick and focus on them this will give your inner peace and at the end that’s what matters.

So, I decided I wont settle until i feel its the right time for me with the right person. You want to date someone go out on date live laugh and enjoy. Want to get drenched in rain do that. Do whatever makes you happy and then you will make memories for life.Avoid people who keep reminding of your growing age, avoid things which gives negativity, keep yourself away from social media or any such distractions which makes you feel unwanted or you lagging behind.

Sit and compare your graph sheet in last 10years what you have accomplished in life and trust me you will be amazed to know you have come a long way and became a much matured individual.

Stay Strong girls!! Life is big to shed tears for things not happening for you!!

Life up your life you own way and on your own terms!!

Nirvana tabhi milega :D:D:D


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