This a story of sanyukta who happen to get back to her passion after a long gap.
As i entered this studio room after a decade. Facing the mirror all across and seeing myself and patting at my back.
Bravo!! The most difficult task is getting back to the place where you ended things promising yourself never to get back to this place ever again and never look back. Often we leave our passion,our identity and many such things because of circumstances. Human ego’s are so big and trust me it gets more rusted as time passes if you dont communicate and the restriction on communications leads to many misunderstanding and eventually resentments and then we prefer to cut off from the individuals.
Giving up on something which you have loved at one point of time and living a life in exile keeping yourself away from thing and then acting as if you not related to this things is much tougher!!.
Its better to express your emotions and feel light then controlling and not showcasing and controlling its tough.
Its like saying I love you is easier then controlling your feelings and acting to be cool about it while you know there is a volcanic eruption inside you. I felt this when i have to hold back my passion for dance for 10 long years.
Max i did was may be dance on someone wedding or in front of my mirror . I suppressed my love love, my passion which was in my genes. controlling yourself when the beats are on is tough and i did it for a long time.
As i looked across the mirrors flashback of events came in front of me, the crew, the crowd, the music, the people and the graceful me.As my instructor asked if previously i have danced and i said no i am a non dancer.
Sometime we lie to people but cnt lie to ourselves because deep inside we know we lied.Well i just love life because it comes up with so many surprises everyday. So when the instructor started with the count of 1 2 3 gosh!!! I was the one who did the maximum mistakes and finally he came to me held my hands and instructed. Well i smiled because because it wasn’t my concentration it was the memories which was making me feel so uncomfortable i wasnt sure if should laugh or cry. All i can see across as if “Spartans” were there and we all laughing out and pulling each other legs.
Being in a studio room after a long time definitely ensures how you look like every were the mirrors are seeing you. you can see yourself completely, you can see your moves, your looks i realized how much weight i gained and also the grace in my steps have gone. I felt i lost the charm, i lost that confidence of performing in front of people. I lost that self confidence in me which i had before being the lead in my group. I came out had a sip of water looked up into the sky and smiled god seriously thanks for the reality check it was much needed. I am a commoner again and trust me people around me were amazing and graceful. I really need to work too hard to get back myself.
Mirror you truly depicts what you see, my shadow also never left me but my passion took a back seat i felt i was so much lost in the crowd not the one and only i am just like the rest.I couldn’t move properly i was finding so much of difficulty to even look at the mirror i was conscious in every move of mine at a time when i use to just walk ot so confidently.
Well i feel i am ready now to face the world and more to face myself and get back the confidence and my crew back.Its a dream in many aspects but i will ensure i will do it.
With this note sanyukta left the studio and headed for her home with a smile and a confidence within herself:)